


Take Your Pic(k)

by 8ball



Category: One Piece
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-07
Updated: 2020-11-07
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:27:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27440422
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/8ball/pseuds/8ball
Summary: The root of the whole thing was this: Zoro had a big, fat stupid crush of Sanji that had been going on for the better part of two years. It was just the kind of bullshit Zoro didn't need in his life, but who’d have thought Sanji from goddamn home economics class could kick like a mule with a black belt? Zoro hadn’t, not until he had gotten into an argument with the blonde over how to properly clean the school's dented, shitty frying pan. He’d called the guy a priss, and the next thing he knew he was blinking up at the ceiling with a bruise the size of a baseball and a newfound understanding of teenage hormones.
Relationships: Roronoa Zoro/Vinsmoke Sanji
Comments: 22
Kudos: 344





	Take Your Pic(k)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [donutsandcoffee](https://archiveofourown.org/users/donutsandcoffee/gifts).



> CONGRATZ AMERICANS ON THE RECENT POLITICAL SHIT!!! here is a silly little thing to sweeten the deal lmao  
> Thank you Dee for the commission!! I always enjoy writing disaster Zoro being in love with local blonde idiot

  
  


“So listen,” Nami began, sliding into the seat next to him with no preamble. “Photo prices are up this week.”

Zoro, a man who could confidently say his bank account had never seen more than 2 digits in its entire existence, wasn't thrilled about that. 

“What about the friend discount?” He wasn't pleading. He did not _plead_ to Nami and her schemes. 

“The friend discount was meant to be a mutual beneficial deal, and it's not beneficial to me if you’re _broke_.” 

“I’m broke because of you!” He cried, swatting her hand away as it reached for his drink. She narrowed her eyes dangerously at him. 

“Funny, seeing as _you_ were the one to come to _me_ .” She said, flicking his hand out of the way and _blatantly_ stealing his orange juice. A muffled wind chime noise sounded, and she cursed, digging her phone out of her bag. “Shit, that’ll be Coby and the shirt prints. Look, I gotta go but it's $30 per roll, _no negotiations._ See you Friday!” And then she was gone, practically sprinting out of the cafeteria to get to her next side hustle. Zoro remained seated in his usual solitaire corner table, now down one bottle of juice and soon to be $30.

He groaned, head thunking down on the hideously colored plastic surface. There was no way in hell he could scrounge up more than his usual $15 a week from helping teach kendo to the elementary kids after school, and Franky had already saved his ass from an unfortunate incident involving Luffy, a food truck, and a 4 page long bill. Borrowing from Usopp who borrowed from Kaya was a potential option, but he didn't know when he’d be able to pay them back. He’d made decent money helping Perona at her friends bakery, but enduring Perona bossing him around while he wore a pink apron was something he could only handle maybe once a year. All that to say he was well and truly fucked.

Glancing at the clock, he pushed himself to his feet and hastily shoved his half-eaten sandwich in his bag. How his life had gotten to the point where he was spending his precious pocket money on dubiously acquired photographs, he wasn't sure. What he _did_ know was that Sanji would be the absolute death of him, if Pudding didn't murder him first. 

After contemplating his many possible deaths in math class he decided that he’d just have to bite the bullet and find Drake after school, who could then find Law who could find Gin, because apparently tired brunettes who looked like drug dealers liked to hang out in the same areas. He wondered if Usopp and Drake still took that intro to archeology class together. 

He started up in his seat when the bell rang, wiping the drool from his face and grabbing his books. The teacher gave him an unimpressed look on the way out, no doubt fully aware that Zoro spent 90% of class time unconscious, but too unmotivated by a piss poor excuse of a paycheck to call him out on it. He dialed Usopp’s number in the hallway, and the other boy answered on the first ring.

“ _If this is about the bath bomb prank in the faculty lounge I just want to say ON RECORD that I WAS NOT INVOL-_

“Dunno what that is.” Zoro interrupted. “Look, have you seen Drake or Law around?” 

There was a pause on the other line as Zoro turned his combination lock around, trying to remember what the fuck the code even was. Something with 3 and 7.

_“I think Chopper said that Law was in his after school pre-med thing? They don't get out until like, 4:30.”_

Zoro cursed, pulling on the stupid lock. He considered breaking the thing, but he didn't feel like a lecture on property damage from the principle. For the eighth time. 

“Fine. Do you remember my locker combination?” He grumbled, glaring at the offensively bright yellow metal. 

“ _Oh yeah, Nami wrote it down for me. It’s…..32-27-8.”_

“Why does _Nami_ have my combination?” He growled, putting in the right numbers and swinging the door open. Shoving his books in, he noticed a piece of paper flutter to the ground.

_“I dunno, I stopped questioning her a while ago. Kinda easier to just go with whatever she says y’know?”_

Zoro couldn't argue with that. Still, he scowled and scooped the paper up, shoving it in his pocket and slamming the locker shut. 

“Yeah, whatever. Tell Luffy I said hi.”

_“Sure! You still coming to movie night on Friday?”_

“Yeah, I’ll see you guys there.”

He clicked the broken _end call_ button on his ancient phone, tossing the pitiful device in his pocket and digging out the paper. Blinking down at it, he stopped dead in the middle of the emptying hallway.

A picture of Sanji, laughing with a bottle of water in one hand and a paper bag in the other. Zoro cursed and turned it over. 

_Prints are on sale for $10_

_-N_

Fuck it, he thought. It was better than nothing.

-o-

So it wasn't the healthiest or the most moral thing in the world, what he was doing. He could swear up and down that it hadn't started out that way, and yet. Here he was.

The root of the whole thing was this: Zoro had a big, fat _stupid_ crush of Sanji that had been going on for the better part of two years. It was just the kind of bullshit Zoro _didn't need_ in his life, but who’d have thought _Sanji_ from goddamn _home economics_ class could kick like a mule with a black belt? Zoro hadn’t, not until he had gotten into an argument with the blonde over how to properly clean the school's dented, shitty frying pan. He’d called the guy a priss, and the next thing he knew he was blinking up at the ceiling with a bruise the size of a baseball and a newfound understanding of teenage hormones. 

And then movie night started. Zoro didn't remember how he and Luffy became friends, only that he’d murder for the guy ten times over and would probably have better grades if they stopped doing homework together. Usopp and Nami were roped into the Luffy circle in their own ways, and in the end they chose to stay. By the end of freshman year they were all tangled up in each other's lives in a good way, Nami occasionally bringing Vivi along for adventures and Usopp introducing them all to an ostracized genius named Chopper. They started meeting at Usopp’s garage for bootleg versions of terrible blockbusters, courtesy of the red head. 

Then one Friday Luffy showed up at the garage with a bloody nose and a bruised looking Sanji in tow. It’d been a while since the home ec fiasco and Zoro was more than prepared to silently smother whatever _feeling_ he was developing for the other boy, but then Sanji _smiled_ . Not one of the _I’m so smooth and cool look at me flip this pancake_ smile from cooking class, or the _look at me and my perfect hair and clear skin and oxford fucking shoes_ smile from hallway sightening when he surrounded himself with girls. This was a _real_ smile. And it _ruined_ Zoro. 

That was over a year ago though, and since then Zoro had only fallen harder and they’d only fought more. Hell, half of every movie night was them bickering about nothing and then Nami or Luffy bodily separating them while Usopp tried to get the twice-broken VCR to play. Chopper was the saving grace really, because since he’d joined neither men could handle being on the receiving end of his pleading, giant eyes. 

It mostly sucked because Zoro still couldn't decide if he wanted to grab Sanji by the neck and make out with him or punch the guy in the face. Maybe punch _himself_ in the face. Maybe all of the above. Being a teenager was hard. 

Right, but anyways. The photos. The actual _reason_ for the photos required going back a good couple months to an event that made Zoro’s high school days that much more awful. Like most horrible and stupid things, Zoro met Gin in the locker room. Specifically, he nearly gave Gin a black eye because he didn't appreciate the way the guy was blatantly watching Sanji change into his soccer uniform. He understood the urge, he really did, but that didn't mean he was feeling generous enough to forgive. He’d cornered Gin by the basketball court to tell him two very important things. 1: Sanji wasn't interested in anything Gin had to offer because Sanji didn't _look_ at guys. (Zoro knew, he’d been keeping an eye out for it for over a year now.) 2: Zoro watched out for his friends, and he was _always_ watching. 

Gin gave the usual excuses. He hadn't been watching, he’d just wondered where Sanji had gotten his shirt, he’d been zoning out, he’d been looking at the guy _next_ to Sanji, not Sanji, never Sanji. And then Gin had said he hadn’t meant to check out Zoro’s boyfriend, and Zoro’s brain short-circuited a bit. 

“Sanji’s not my boyfriend.” He had said. And god, did he know it. He’d had a dream about them on more than one occasion holding hands in the hallway. Not making out or even dirty stuff, literally just holding hands. It revealed just how thoroughly fucked Zoro was.

“He’s not?” Gin had asked, really weirdly surprised. Like he was _relieved_ too. 

Gin had disappeared with a mumbled apology. The next day he appeared at Zoro’s corner lunch table, Pudding in toe. 

“You’re not dating Sanji?” She had asked, right off the bat. Zoro hadn't even known her name. 

“Who the hell are you?” He’d asked. That was how he’d officially met Pudding. 

And then Pudding offered him a very weird deal. The deal was as follows: Pudding would not ask Sanji out if Zoro gave her the photos of Sanji. A full roll of film per week to be precise. Amazingly, this was not the strangest thing to come from his first interaction with Pudding and Gin. 

Seeing as the universe was incredibly unkind to Zoro, there just so happened to be a small group of people absolutely _enamoured_ with Sanji. Pudding and Gin stood at the head of this unorganized chaos, with Gin claiming longevity and Pudding bullying her way into the commanding seat. So Zoro not only had competition, he had a freshman girl with a stalking tendency who was constantly two words away from a psychotic episode, and her _entire club_ . The whole thing was news to Zoro, and it was _huge_ news to Pudding and Gin that the school’s top kendo player wasn't dating the blonde part-time chef. 

Zoro knew he shouldn't have taken the deal. It was five ways of wrong and stupid but he really, _really_ didn't want to see Sanji and Pudding holding hands while they walked down the hallways. He didn't want to sit with some bullshit broken heart on movie night while Sanji prattled on about the cookies he was going to make for Pudding, and the chocolates she had made for him. Still, he didn't take the deal at first. He had his pride, and part of the reason why his crush had developed so easily with Sanji was because Zoro respected the hell out of the guy. You don't take up stalking via photos over someone you respect- a pretty obvious thing to understand, really. Agreeing to the whole thing was the last thing the swordsman wanted, and in the end he didn't cave because of Pudding specifically. It was her little group, the _fans_ really, all overly excited teenagers jumping at the prospect of _Sanji_ being _single._ Boys with less than innocent intentions cornering Sanji at his locker or walking a little too close to him out the door, or even having the nerve to put their sweaty hands on the blonde. Not that Sanji took that shit lying down, but it scared the fuck out of Zoro. The cook was a people-pleaser, an honest to god _kind soul_ wrapped up in his fake-asshole persona, and Zoro had witnessed far more than just one occasion where Sanji wouldn't or couldn't say no. What would happen if some asshole pressured Sanji into a single little _yes_ and took that as a green light for everything? It didn't matter if the cook was straight or not- if it came down to feeling _obligated_ or some shit, Sanji would do it. That was the terrifying part for Zoro. 

That didn't excuse the fact that he gave in to the wrongness of the deal. The relief he felt when Pudding called off her dogs was astronomical, but short lived. The swordsman had gone running to Nami, desperate and shameful, and she had shamed him rightfully further but ultimately agreed to help (for a price). He’d been indebted to the redhead and her dubiously acquired camera ever since.

He didn't know what Gin got out of it. He didn't deal with Gin directly at all in this matter, because Pudding bribed him with the old copies of Nami’s photos. Zoro got Pudding new photos, Pudding agreed not to ask Sanji out, Pudding gave Gin old photos, Gin agreed not to do...whatever it was Pudding and Gin had agreed on. Zoro didn't feel threatened by the concept of Gin asking Sanji out for two obvious reasons. One, Gin couldn't string more than 3 words together in front of the blonde without becoming a silent, sweaty mess. Two, and the forever returned to question, (and the greatest mystery of Zoro’s entire life) no one knew if Sanji even _liked_ guys. 

Granted, Zoro could have asked. He could have just manned the hell up, looked Sanji in the eyes and asked _are you 100% heteosexual_ and put an end to his sleepless nights of wondering. It wasn't like he hadn't tried alternatives to that either. When he’d approached Nami on the subject, she’d tried to swindle him out of his savings and then some for the answer, all with that infuriating smug look on her face. Putting Usopp in that kind of situation might actually kill the guy, and Zoro had doubts that even the long-nose knew the answer for sure. If Luffy knew, he either didn't understand or didn't care, most likely the latter. Did he mention being a teenager was hard? It was very hard.

_Speaking of things that made life hard_ , he thought, catching sight of two puffy looking bundles of brown hair. He quickly turned on his heel, looking around to see if he could duck inside a classroom before Pudding saw him. Kids poured out into the hallways from all sides, and he tried bodily pushing his way against the traffic. He froze when he caught a glimpse of pink hair, squinting to try to see which student it was. Zoro prayed for it to be Bonny or Coby. 

Instead, Reiju caught his eye, her face contorting into an impressively terrifying smile. Zoro cursed, turning on his heels again. He’d take Pudding over Reiju any day, mostly because he actually knew _why_ Pudding hated him at least. That and he’d personally seen Reiju take down 3 seniors behind the gym with nothing but a plastic spoon and her fingernails. Zoro didn't know if Sanji’s older sister knew about the photos or what, but he didn't want to die at the age of 17, so he made his way hastily out the front doors.

Pudding was waiting for him. She dug a manicured hand into his shoulder, pulling him aside from the steady stream of exhausted school goers. 

“Well?” She said, holding out her hand expectantly. Zoro grimaced, wondering if he should have faced Reiju instead. In front of him, Pudding tapped her foot with her usual level of barely concealed homicidal rage. 

Desperately, Zoro pulled out the slightly crumpled picture of Sanji, placing it in her hand. 

“Where the fuck are the others?” She demanded, flipping the picture over like there was a hidden stack of them right there in the air. She leveled a glare at Zoro. “The deal was an entire film roll, not a single print!”

Zoro glanced up at the sky, hoping for a lightning bolt to appear out of nowhere and strike him down. He wouldn't be in this situation if he’d just taken Usopp's advice and gotten a phone with a camera.

The reason he had been forced to go to the red haired con woman in the first place was because Zoro’s phone, despite being _perfectly functional_ , was maybe older than he was. Usopp called it the 8th wonder of the world just for still turning on everyday, and there had been a mix up with the engineering TA, Franky, who had heard about the phone from Usopp and thought Zoro was some kind of tech genius for getting it up and running. Truth was, Zoro had found it in a drawer under a mess of old tax reports and paperclips and just asked Koushirou if he could use it. The battery life lasted 3 hours on a good day, there was no caller ID, and no camera. Hence, Nami and her access (possibly stolen keys) to the yearbook club's camera, combined with her ability to get Sanji to do whatever the fuck she wanted. If the cook thought it was weird that Nami needed over ten new photos per week of him for a club she wasn't even a part of, he never mentioned it. 

“I can't get a full roll this week.” He said, glancing back at Pudding. She stared at him like he was speaking Danish.

“Well you _better_ !” She spluttered, jabbing a pointy finger in Zoro’s chest. “Or- or I’ll go and- _flirt_ with Sanji-san!”

Except he knew she probably wouldn't. But she _might_ , and that was the scary part. Creepy club members hitting on the cook aside, if Pudding just showed the slightest _normal_ interest in Sanji without the whole manic laughter and insults then she could get him wrapped around her finger in no time. 

“Look, what if I got you a painting of him?” Zoro bargained, already knowing how _that_ conversation would go. _Hey Usopp, would you mind doing a giant painting of Sanji? Oh and the cook can't know about it, thanks_. Yeah, that’d go great. 

“I don't want some crappy _painting_!” Pudding hissed, stamping her foot. 

“Well I can't get a whole roll this week!” Zoro hissed back, edging towards the stairs. Pudding narrowed her eyes at him, grabbing his arm. 

“If you don't get me those photos, the deal is off!” She said, this time at a volume that got the attention of a handful of other kids. 

“Fine! The deal is off then!” He yelled back.

“Fine!”

“ _Fine_!”

She shoved him a bit, stomping off to god knows where. Probably to tell Gin and the entire rest of the group. Probably to tell her 200 weird siblings to murder Zoro later that week.

He realized half ways down the stairs that she had taken the little print of Sanji with her anyways. 

  
  


-o-

  
  


Zoro didn't even wait to see what Pudding would do. It was a Monday so he still had time, but not a lot. He eventually found his way to the Baratie on his own, making three wrong turns before scrambling down the tiny alley where Sanji thought no one could see him sneaking a cigarette. 

“Oi, cook.” He called, watching the blonde curse and fumble with his lighter. Sanji looked around frantically, relaxing visibly at the lack of adult figures. 

“What do you want, shithead?” Sanji mumbled, taking a long drag before putting the stick out on his shoe. He had a dish towel slung over one shoulder and a stained apron tied around his waist, and it really should not have made him look good. 

Zoro didn't know what he wanted. As most things with Sanji went, Zoro didn't have any kind of plan and didn't know what to do now that he was here. He only had the one goal, which was to keep the cook away from Pudding. Well, he also wanted to grab the blonde by the shoulders and shake him until he realized that half the school and Zoro included were a little in love with him. 

“Wanna go on a road trip?” He blurted instead. Sanji raised a brow.

“With what car, dumbass? Merry can't even make it around the block.” 

Merry was the name of Usopp’s beloved Volkswagen van that was somehow older than Zoro’s phone. The wannabe engineer/artist claimed that he’d get it up and running one day, and swore to have driven it around town despite his lack of driver’s license. 

“We could take the catering car.” Zoro pointed out, glancing behind the alley where a hideous white SUV was parked in the Baraties staff parking lot. Sanji just gave a short laugh at that. 

“The old man doesn't even let me take that piece of shit to school. Also you can't even drive, idiot.”

Ok, so there were a few flaws in that plan. Road trip out, think Zoro, think. 

“You should join the kendo team.” And wow, wasn't that spectacularly a dumb thing to suggest. Zoro winced at his own stupidity. 

“Ok, first of all, lame. Second, no way in hell am I putting on all that unwashed, sweaty gear just to get my fingers broken by a wooden stick.” Zoro opened his mouth to say it wasn't a _stick_ it was called a _bokken_ , but Sanji just held up his hand. “Third, why the fuck would I even?” He asked, looking genuinely confused. 

Zoro just shrugged, slumping a little on the wall. He didn't have the energy to come up with any kind of creative lie, and he crossed his arms. Sanji juggled like, 6 different after school clubs anyways, taking every opportunity to fill his schedule with AP classes and extra credit volunteer work. It figured that the pretty boy was also an overachieving A+ student, despite how often the guy claimed to not give a shit about school. 

Sanji sidled up to his other side, rummaging in his pocket for a packet of mint gum, offering a piece to Zoro. 

“What’s up with you, anyways? You trying to skip town or something?” He asked, slipping the gum into his apron pocket after Zoro took the offered piece. The swordsman chewed morosely, thinking over his possible option and drawing a blank. 

“Just wanted to get away for a bit, I guess.” He said, glancing over at the blonde. A road trip with Sanji actually did sound pretty fun, not that they had anywhere to go. Sanji could make them bentos or something and choose horrible music and Zoro could pretend he wasn't enamoured. 

“Well, look.” Sanji pushed himself off the wall and turned fully to grin at Zoro. “If you wanna steal a car tomorrow, I’m free after 6. But I wanna get something cool, like a lexus.”

Zoro scoffed, grinning back. 

“What’d you even do with a car? Blast Lizzie Mcguire songs?”

He dodge a bony knee to the gut.

“It's _HiIlary Duff_ , and _fuck you_.” 

They scuffled in the alley for a good couple of minutes, both ending up on opposite sides of the alley, wincing at new bruises but smiling. Sanji was laughing a little, his face split in one of his rare, honest grins that looked like it hurt his cheeks. It made Zoro think of all the times he’d slowly witnessed the truth of who the boy was outside of school, of the things that gave away his gentleness like secrets let loose. He’d seen Sanji leave food for stray cats and jump out of cars to move turtles across streets, and once he’d caught the blonde giving his lunch away to a too-skinny kindergartener. Shame washed over Zoro again as he thought of how he was spending his days being a _stalker_ while the cook slowly reached new levels of saint-hood each day. 

“Cook-” He began, hating that Sanji picked up on the colder mood and lost his grin. 

Zoro thought about telling the truth about Pudding and the whole club and the fucking photos. He’d contemplated it before, even though a part of him was afraid Sanji wouldn't believe the ridiculousness of the story. He thought about that one older guy, putting his meaty hand on the cook’s thin shoulder and the way that boy had _leered_. He thought about Pudding and he fake niceness when she wanted things to go her way. 

“You know you can- you don't have to say yes to the first person who asks, y’know?”

Sanji just looked confused, tilting his head a little to one side while Zoro fumbled. The swordsman could feel a heavy blush spreading over his cheeks. 

“I mean, if someone asks you out.” Zoro mumbled awkwardly. 

The blush on the cook’s face was instantaneous, and only made Zoro’s own hot face heat up further. Sanji spluttered for a moment, looking around at the dented trash cans and the brick walls before laughing uncomfortably. 

“Yeah, ‘cuz people are really lining up for _that_.” He joked. 

Zoro kind of wanted to punch him. _How the fuck are you so stupid,_ he wanted to scream. 

“I’m serious, cook.” Zoro growled, because really, Sanji _couldn't_ be that blind. Even if he was an idiot around girls, he had to have noticed the occasional blush and stutter he prompted, or, Jesus, the little gifts some of them gave. The _touches_ at least. 

“So am I?” Sanji replied, looking lost in the conversation and a little uncomfortable. 

Zoro balled his hands into fists at his side, trying not to look as frustrated as he felt. 

“You could have anyone, you know that, right?” He all but blurted, biting his tongue as soon as the words were out and feeling very foolish. 

In front of him, Sanji spluttered again, hands moving up to agitatedly run through his hair, looking genuinely distressed. 

“Where is all this coming from?” The blonde asked, a tone of desperation in his voice. 

_Yeah, where the fuck_ is _this coming from?_ Now wasn't exactly the best time for some god damn confession of all things, and Sanji just looked freaked out more than anything. How was Zoro supposed to platonically explain that the cook deserved the world and shouldn't settle for some horny classmate that just so happened to be the first person to throw nice words his way? Or, god, Pudding and her _fakeness_ ? _Well, cook, the thing is I’ve seen a little of your soul and it just about blinded me because it was so damn beautiful, so now I’m compelled to look out for you but just as a friend, I swear._

When had everything gotten so complicated? 

“Sanji-”

Before he could get anything else out, the back door slammed open, making both boys jump. Zeff gave them an unimpressed look, eyes narrowing at Zoro. 

“I ain't paying you to goof off, eggplant!” he growled, grabbing Sanji by the back of his shirt and bodily hauling him back inside. Sanji gave an indignant _you're not paying me at all!_ In response, and the door slammed shut, leaving Zoro in the quickly darkening alley, blood pressure a mess. 

He kicked at the ground, trying to decide if the old man was a blessing or a curse for the interruption. He started making his way back to the main street when the door burst open again, a blonde, messy head poking out. 

“You’re coming to movie night, right?” the cook called.

“Yeah, I’ll be there.” Zoro yelled back, waving a little. Sanji’s returning grin was hesitant at first, then a bright slash of light that had the swordsman reeling. Turning around to high tail it, his heart rate refused to settle down even long after he had left that alley and the cook behind. 

-o-

  
  


Tuesday morning Zoro woke up with a new plan, this one involving a part time job mowing lawns that Luffy said Ace could hook him up with. Kendo practice was only on Tuesday and Thursday, but Zoro practiced just about every second he could get. Now though, he’d have to sacrifice some of that time, if only until he had enough money to pay Nami or buy a camera phone. 

He still wanted to have a backup plan though, and this involved a very unwilling Usopp. 

“What do you mean _Pudding is after Sanji_ ? Like with a _knife_!?” 

Zoro clamped a hand over Usopp’s mouth, looking around.

“No, well, maybe? Probably not. Listen-” Usopp had paled dramatically, and Zoro groaned, unclamping his hand. “Just keep an eye on the cook today, ok? I’m busy with kendo stuff.” 

Usopp looked like he’d really rather not deal with a homicidal girl, but he still swallowed and straightened his posture. 

“I’ll guard him with my life! But, y’know, preferably not that.”

Zoro nodded, satisfied. Usopp probably wouldn't last against someone as psychotic as Pudding, but if it meant defending Sanji’s life, the guy would stick with it. Considering the girl’s usual tactics of dealing with her infatuation of the cook, it was actually possible that Sanji was at risk of minor injury. 

Classes dragged on with their usual lack of anything interesting, except when Robin, the history TA, smacked a ruler on Kidd’s desk, startling him so badly he fell out of his chair. Zoro couldn't find the cafeteria at lunch, so he roamed around outside until Luffy found him, begging for food. 

“Where’s the cook?” He asked Luffy, since usually lunch time entailed the younger boy devouring things Sanji had made at the restaurant. 

“Usopp dragged him to art club.” Luffy whined, pawing at Zoro’s brown paper bag of a pitiful ham sandwich. 

Zoro let out a sigh of relief, tossing his apple at Luffy. 

By the time 3pm rolled around, Zoro was feeling confident. Usopp was keeping Sanji occupied at school, and the cook always went straight to the Baratie if he didn't have soccer practice. So he was thrown when he saw the blonde walking purposefully towards the science building, Usopp fluttering behind him like a nervous bird. 

“Oi!” He called, scrambling after them. Usopp practically sprinted to him, grabbing his arm. Ahead of them, Sanji spared a look over his shoulder. 

“Zoro!” Usopp pleaded. “You gotta stop him!” 

“Stop what?” Zoro asked, frowning over at the blonde. Sanji crossed his arms, looking annoyed. 

“Some asshole sent me a threatening letter and told me to ‘be behind the science building at 3’. Well I’ll show that bastard! I’m gonna serve this guy up as the afternoon mystery soup or some shit!” the cook growled, tapping his foot. 

“Letter?” Zoro looked at Usopp. “What?”

Usopp leaned in, whispering frantically. 

“I think it's from Pudding! She's seriously going to murder him behind the science labs oh my _god_.”

Zoro looked between the two men, feeling the beginnings of a panic sprouting in his gut. Sanji had pulled out the letter, waving it around in the air furiously, and Zoro grabbed it.

It did indeed say _be behind the science building at 3_ , finished off with a giant _or else_ on the back. What was weird was the giant heart drawn around the _or else_ and the choice of pink marker. Definitely Pudding then. The whole situation would be hilarious if it wasn't also terrifying. 

“Zeff’s gonna kill you if you're late to work.” Zoro said, lamely attempting to dissuade the blonde from what he thought was a brawl. Sanji just reared on him, spitting. 

“Who gives a flying fuck!? This is about _honor_!” He yelled, jabbing a finger at Zoro. Usopp lowered his head into his hands silently. 

“Ok, but-” Zoro looked around. What could he use to distract Sanji from a fight? There were only two things the guy ever seemed to respond to and that was fancy food and girls. Right then. “The witc- Nami was looking for you.”

The effect of the words was instantaneous, causing Sanji to drop his anger within the second. 

“Nami-san was looking for me? Why didn't you say so, shit-head!”

He threw the crumpled note at the two other boys and dashed off towards the main building. Usopp and Zoro watched him, both heaving out a sigh of relief. 

“Can you get Nami to cover for me?” Zoro asked Usopp, watching the retreating blonde.

“Yeah, but she’s gonna want details.” Usopp mumbled, already starting a text. 

Zoro just shrugged.

“As long as she doesn't want more money, I don't care.”

  
  


-o-

  
  


Pudding cornered him Wednesday morning, slamming a hand on his locker and making a face that scared the remaining kids around off to a safer area. 

“You can't use that long-nose as a shield forever.” She hissed. 

Gin came up behind her, looking breathless and giving Zoro an apologetic look. 

“Come on, Pudding.” The older man said softly, putting a hand on her shoulder. He was clearly trying to placate her, which Zoro heavily appreciated. “Let's just get tickets to Sanji’s soccer game. Or we could start that group chat about his eyebrows you were talking about.”

Zoro didn't ask. Pudding looked conflicted, but turned to look at Gin over her shoulder. 

“We had to cancel that chat because of Duval.” She said, eyes flashing with a newfound murderous intent. “I should have killed him when I had the chance.” 

She said that too seriously for Zoro to be comfortable with, and he took a small step backwards. Times like these he really wished Kuina was still by his side, if nothing else than to punch Pudding in the face and usher Zoro to the safety of class. Not that he was _afraid_ or anything. 

“We can block Duval. Or we can corner him after school and light his pants of fire. That’d be fun, right?” Gin said soothingly, carefully herding Pudding away from Zoro’s locker. 

They murmured about possible horrific things to do to Duval and the swordsman slipped away down the hall, not even caring that he didn't have his books. He dug his phone out of his pocket and dialed Usopp's number. The other boy picked up after the first ring.

_“My blood pressure can't take this, Zoro. I have a quiz on geometry this week, and I can't study_ and _get stabbed in the face, ok? I just can't.”_

Zoro pinched the bridge of his nose.

“I know, but I’m doing a job for Ace after school. Can you just take him to art club again at lunch? We can stick Luffy on him later.”

On the other end of the line, Usopp was saying something to someone else. There was a fumbling sound and a grating noise like metal on metal, and then Usopp returned. 

_“Crap, my stupid phone case...Yeah ok I can get him to art club. Maybe he could model for the figure study again.”_

Zoro clipped his elbow on a wall, cursing. 

“Ok, thanks. It's a clothed study though, right?”

Silence. 

“Usopp? Oi, he's not naked, right? _Right_?”

Usopp had hung up. 

  
  


-o-

  
  


Sanji came up beside him after the final bell rang, their shoulders bumping in the crowded hallway. He popped a lollipop in his mouth, and Zoro quickly looked away, aware of the dangers of watching things involving the cook’s tongue. 

“Come spar with me today.” He said, throwing a bright smile at a group of passing senior girls. They giggled at him good naturedly, and he blushed.

“You don't have soccer?” Zoro asked, keeping his gaze firmly on the short kid texting in front of him.

Sanji’s teeth clacked lightly on his lollipop. His thin hands traveled up to adjust his tie, a stupidly preppy addition to his already stupidly preppy uniform. 

“The team can suffer a day without it's star player. I’d rather kick your ass.”

Zoro grunted, annoyed. He loved sparring with Sanji, maybe even more than he loved training and kendo practice. It was a rare day too that the cook offered, since he was always busy these days trying to get Zeff to hire him as a real employee. But Zoro had already promised Ace to help out with yard work for someone named Hancock, and he really would need the money for next week. He couldn't live constantly looking over his shoulder for Pudding and her crew to pounce. 

“Can't. Busy.” He grumbled, mood completely soured. Sanji scoffed.

“You’re never busy.” The blonde said, bumping Zoro’s shoulder again. His hands kept fluttering up to his hair, his face, his shirt, like he couldn't keep them still even if he tried. 

“I have kendo.” He lied, because somehow he didn't quite feel like explaining that he was trimming hedges to pay Nami for possibly illegal photos. 

“No you don't.” Sanji said, whirling on Zoro. “You definitely do _not_ have kendo on Wednesdays.”

“You don't know when I have kendo.” Zoro contered, because how the fuck _would_ Sanji know? 

“Uh, yeah I fucking do, idiot. There are these things called schuldes that I know how to read.”

Zoro eyed Sanji suspiciously, moving towards his locker. The blonde kept up, turning to give the occasional smile to passing classmates. 

“Well you don't know _my_ schedule.” Zoro grumbled, trying to remember the last digit of his combination. Sanji was distracting him and he couldn't think of it. 

“Yeah I do. It's kendo on Tuesdays, sleep, eat, photosynthesis, fail math, kendo on Thursdays, then movie night. You’re the most predictable piece of fungus I've ever seen.”

Zoro would have been a little touched if he wasn't also insulted. Still, the fact that Sanji knew his schedule made his stomach do a little flip.

“Maybe I just want to practice alone for once.” He said. Where was the 37 in the combination? Was it first?

“Ok, what's going on.” Sanji said, poking Zoro in the shoulder and crunching loudly on his finished lollipop. “You never turn down sparing.”

He had Zoro there. Ever since both boys had started organizing their aggression into a weekly meetup of kicking and sword swinging there'd never once been a time Zoro had declined. 

“Well I am now.” He said with a sigh, feeling genuinely shitty as all hell. Here he was, turning down an opportunity to hang out with Sanji just so he could keep someone else away from Sanji. Wouldn't it just be better to cancel on Ace and hang out with the cook like he wanted? But- he didn't know how to handle Pudding and he had _no clue_ how to deal with people hitting on Sanji and making him uncomfortable! He didn't know what the fuck he was doing! And he still couldn't remember his combination!

Beside him, Sanji was oddly silent. When the swordsman turned to look at him, the blonde was wearing a wary expression. 

“You’ve been- weird, this week. And the other day, behind the restaurant, that was weird.” The cook said, somewhat quietly. He looked- almost nervous. 

Zoro didn't know what to say to that, so he just shrugged, turning back and pretending to be so very interested in the mysteries of his locker combination. He could feel Sanji’s eyes on him still, and he felt raw and tense under the gaze. 

“Are you- _seeing_ someone?” Sanji asked haltingly. 

Zoro wasn't sure he’d heard right. 

“What?” Zoro asked, turning sharply and blinking. Technically he was going to go see Ace, but Sanji didn't know that. 

“I mean, the things you were talking about….” But Sanji’s voice drifted off, and he seemed to shake himself of his own thoughts. 

He fidgeted with his bag for a moment, looking at Zoro oddly before reaching over and turning the combination a few times, opening the locker. Zoro gaped at it as the cook readjusted his clothes.

“Whatever. See you friday.” Sanji said, half mumbling before running off. 

Zoro stared at his retreating back, then gazed at his open locker. He stood there for a few minutes, jumping when his phone rang in his pocket, Ace calling to tell him for the third time how to get to the house. 

“I’ll leave now.” He promised Ace. “Oh, and tell Luffy the cook’s got food for him.”

Ace laughed, promising to pass on the message. 

-o-

Come Thursday, Zoro was exhausted. He’d arrived an hour late to the house Ace was already working on, lost and sweaty, and by the time he’d gotten home he was only $20 richer and behind on two papers. He’d woken up late and been threatened with detention for being tardy to class, and most likely failed his math quiz as Sanji predicted. 

So when Pudding got in his face at lunch time, he really wasn't in the mood. 

“ _What_.” He snarled, gratified to see her take a tiny step back. She seemed to catch herself though, meeting his ferocity with her own. 

“You’re coming with me to lunch.” She demanded. “We’ve reached an impasse, and I propose a cease fire.”

She pulled out a card from her bag, something slightly shiny and very pink. She all but threw it in his face.

“Be there at 12:30, and _don't_ be late.” and then she turned on her heel, stomping off. 

Zoro glared at the card. _Charlotte Cafe_ . Great, so he’d be on _her_ territory for this war meeting. Whatever. He considered calling Nami to negotiate for him, but he couldn't afford her fees for that on top of everything else. Plus he was tired of dragging his friend into this particular mess.

He scrambled to his art history lecture, a class he had signed up for solely because the seats were comfortable. When the professor switched off the lights and turned on the projector he slipped out, intent on finding the cafe before Pudding even got there. 

The place was just as garish and stupid looking as the card, filled to the brim with nothing but overly frosted things that made Zoro want to sprint out of the place. Maybe the cook would like it though, he thought. He smiled to himself a little, thinking of Sanji ordering one of those drinks with 14 syllables and gushing over cake types. 

Pudding ruined the moment by snapping her fingers in front of his face, pointing at a middle table where her name was written in a fancy script under a _reserved_ card. Zoro rolled his eyes. 

“Where's Gin?” Zoro asked, annoyed at how stiff the little chairs were. He squirmed, trying to get comfortable and quickly gave up. 

“He’s dealing with another Duval situation. But this isn't about him, this is about you and me.” She said primly, glancing at the glossy menu in front of her. 

“So?” Zoro prompted, not bothering to look at his own menu. He silently prayed that the waiter wouldn't be one of Pudding's hundred siblings. 

“So I’m offering a new deal. A final one.” She smirked at him, and he narrowed his eyes at her. 

“What is it?” Zoro asked cautiously, glancing around. Part of him expected an ambush with his body ending up in the dumpster out back. 

“One week each of no interference. You back off and I have free rein with Sanji-san, but if nothing comes of it, I back off and the next week is yours. No tricks, just an honest deal.”

Pudding looked smug, crossing her hands on the table and staring down Zoro. Across from her, the swordsman frowned. 

“And who says you get to go first?” He asked, pointing out the unfair advantage. Pudding would only need a single good day and Sanji might get caught up in her fake charm for who knows how long. He couldn't let that happen. 

“We could always flip for it.” She suggested with mock innocence, twirling a finger in one of her pigtails. “Not that it matters though. I’d have the advantage anyways.” 

She grinned cruelly at him, and he knew what she was getting at. His mouth tightened in a hard line.

“Just because he might be straight doesn't mean he wants you.” Zoro said in a low voice. 

Pudding just picked at her nails, smiling with that slightly manic look on her face. 

“Well? Do we have a deal or what?” She asked, still looking far too pleased with herself. 

Zoro looked steadily at her. One of the worst things about Pudding was that, despite her creepiness and psychotic tendencies, she _could_ be considered cute. Not by Zoro, but unfortunately probably by Sanji. There was no doubt she knew this, and she probably knew that he knew it too, and that made her all the more dangerous. 

“I still wanna flip for it.” He said, already feeling like he’d lost somehow. 

“Oh, of _course_.” She simpered, snapping her fingers. “Katakuri?”

An enormous man, probably twice Zoro’s age and weight appeared, holding a coin that looked comically small in his hand.

The swordsman watched, feeling the first dregs of fear creep up his spine as the man flipped the coin, caught it, and held under his palm. 

“Heads.” Pudding said cooly, eyes never leaving Zoros. 

Zoro didn't need to look at the coin. He watched the way the girl's eyes slid over to waiter, lighting up with excitement. He got up and left, not looking back. 

-o-

Even though he didn't technically agree to the deal, he’d still honor it. It was in his nature to do so, even if he hated Pudding and knew she had cheated somehow. 

He’d gone to kendo practice, working his teammates until everyone was bruised and in a foul mood, and then he’d stayed hours later, waiting for the burn in his arms to force him to stop. He ignored the sound of his phone ringing in his pocket. 

By Friday morning he felt more accepting of the situation. Pudding would sweep in a charm Sanji with her fake sweetness, and that would be that. Who was Zoro kidding? Even if Sanji did magically like boys even a little, he’d never shown any interest in Zoro and he probably never would. People didn't fawn over Zoro the way they fawned over Nami and privately fawned over Sanji, the bright, pretty people of the school with good grades and nice hair. Zoro wasn't even that likeable, was nothing like Luffy and his thousand of friends or Chopper and his impossible-to-say-no-to eyes. He was only good at kendo, and it was hardly the most popular thing. Sanji had big things ahead of him, would probably go to a good business or culinary school and open up his own place one day, get married and have 30 cute kids with some european actor or model or someone. 

A ruler tapped harshly on his desk, and he lifted his head out of his woeful day dreaming. The teacher tutted at him, but Zoro didn't care if he got detention. He stared at the chalkboard, pretending to give a shit for a couple of minutes before giving up. The image of Sanji and Pudding, walking hand in hand down the school stairway burned into his brain and nearly made him hiss. 

Nami was waiting by his locker this time, with his locker already unlocked and open to boot. Glancing at it and then her, he shrugged, stuffing his books in the rusted shelves. 

“I’ve been hearing some weird rumors about you lately.” She said, crossing her arms. Zoro just shrugged again, lacking the energy to engage. 

She tapped her foot on the ground, looking impatient. When Zoro failed to respond she sighed and ran a hand down her face. 

“Look, I’ll go back to giving you the friend discount, ok? I only upped the price because I thought it would get you moving in a different direction with Sanji-kun.” She tossed her hands up dramatically, frowning at the floor. 

Zoro sighed, closing his locker and leaning his head on it. He kinda just wanted to stay there for an hour or two, resting on the cool metal. 

“It's fine. Deals off anyways.” He said, closing his eyes. 

Nami was quiet beside him, other than the _tap tap tap_ her shoe was making. 

“Isn't that a good thing?” She asked hesitantly. “I mean, come on, just-

“Puddings going to ask him out.” Zoro interrupted, finally raising his head. “I told her I’d back off for a bit and that's what I’m gonna do. She and the cook can get married for all I care.”

It was a pathetic lie and they both knew it. Zoro cared so much he could feel it in his ribs, but he’d do a damn good job hiding it. 

“That’s so stupid! Zoro, you _know_ that’s stupid!” Nami said, grabbing him by the arm. She tugged on him until he finally looked at her. 

“Tell the others I can't make it to movie night, ok?” He said, gently removing her hands from his shirt and stepping away. He didn't give her a chance to argue, he just turned away, getting lost in the packed bodies of other students, letting the tide carry him off to who knows where. 

He ended up in the library, standing by the foreign language books and ignoring his buzzing phone. 

-o-

Zoro woke up groggy to the sound of banging on his window, and he nearly fell out of bed when he saw Luffy’s face smooshed up against the glass. 

“Luffy what the _fuck_.” He grumbled, opening the latch and watching the younger boy tumble in. He popped back up, a huge smile on his face and he scrambled back to his feet. 

“You missed movie night!” Luffy said, practically yelling in Zoro's face. “So we’re having movie afternoon!” 

Zoro rubbed his face, glancing at his clock. It was a little past 12pm. He looked back at Luffy. 

“I’m not going, Luffy.” He mumbled, already turning towards the warm mass of blankets on his bed. Luffy beat him there, jumping on the mattress. 

“But you _wanna_ go, right? Come on!”

Luffy grabbed his arm, yanking him towards the door. Zoro didn't have any shoes and his pajama pants had surfing Santa Clauses on them, some joke gift from Chopper for his last birthday. He pulled at his arm, trying to stop Luffy. 

“Just lemme go back to bed!” He grumbled, trying to remove the other boy’s fingers. Luffy just pulled harder. 

“Nope! You’re coming.” 

Zoro gave up, grabbing a pair of worn sandals by the door as Luffy dragged him. There was only so much anyone could refuse Luffy, and it was really a matter of picking battles. As it was, Zoro was still half asleep and would let Luffy run him over with a truck if the kid really felt like it. 

He was in a half-unconscious state of sleepwalking by the time Luffy kicked open Usopp’s garage side door, tossing Zoro inside where he tried to get his bearings. 

Nami, Usopp and Chopper were sitting on the couch, and Sanji was sanding by the door, arms crossed. When he saw Zoro his stance tightened, and he frowned. 

“Well look who finally decided to show up.” he said, turning his blonde head away in a dismissive gesture. Zoro glared at him.

“I didn't ask you to wait for me, curly.”

It was apparently the wrong thing to say, as Sanji whirled on him with flashing eyes. 

“Oh I’m _sorry_ , did you not get enough beauty sleep after your big friday night?” Sanji hissed.

“Fuck off.” Zoro growled, not in the mood. Luffy had squeezed himself between Chopper and Usopp on the couch, and they were just _watching_ them. 

“No, _you_ fuck off!” Sanji marched up to him and jabbed him in the chest with a pointy finger. “We have movie night every friday, and you ditch us for a _date_?”

“Huh?” Zoro swatted at the poking finger, blinking stupidly at Sanji. “What?”

Sanji only looked more pissed off, confusing Zoro further. 

“You must be real busy with your new _girlfriend_ if you can't even make it to movie night, huh marimo?”

“Girlfriend?” He asked, head spinning. He turned to look at Nami. “ _Her_?”

Nami scowled at him as Sanji spluttered. 

“ _No_ , idiot, I’m talking about Pudding-chan!”

Zoro choked on nothing. From the corner of his eye he caught Usopp frantically trying to shush Luffy’s poorly concealed laughter.

“You think I’m dating _Pudding_!?”

Sanji was staring at him now, looking a lot less sure of himself. He hunched a little, glancing at Nami before deciding that the wall was just too damn fascinating to take his eyes off of. 

“I mean, Reiju said she saw you two at the bakery, and you didn't want to _spar_ and then with movie night…” Sanji trailed off, now looking officially awkward.

Zoro dragged a hand down his face. For some reason it seemed like every pink-haired girl within a 30 mile radius just had it out for Zoro’s love life. Of course Reiju probably _conveniently_ left out the part of the bakery meeting where Pudding and Zoro no doubt looked ready to murder each other. 

“Cook, I don't even _like_ Pudding.” Which was the truth if ever there was one. 

  
Sanji still didn't look convinced. 

“But you-

“Oh my god,” He groaned, jabbing a finger in Sanji’s shoulder. “I’m _gay_ , dumbass.” Which was _not what he meant to say_. 

Sanji’s mouth dropped open as his one visible eyebrow shot up. Nami started coughing unsubtly, smirking between the two. Zoro kind of wanted to die.

“Oh!” Sanji said. “That- yeah, ok. Cool. I, uh, didn't know.”

Zoro closed his eyes for a moment, sighing through his nose.

“Yeah, no shit.” He muttered. 

“Well it's not like you _advertise_ it!” Sanji spluttered, his hands moving around nervously. 

“What the fuck do you want me to do, wear a pride flag like a cape?” Zoro gowled, raising his own hands dramatically. 

“No you asshole, but you could have _told_ me-

“Why does it _matter-_

“Because I fucking like you, you stupid piece of green shit!”

The floor kind of fell out from under Zoro at that.

“Oh my god,” Nami whispered, loudly. “This is better than cable.”

“This is better than _netflix_.” Usopp whispered back. 

Sanji and Zoro turned to stare at the two. Luffy was laughing like the universe had told him the secret to life and it was _hilarious_. 

“I’m going to kill all of you.” Zoro growled. Chopper began laughing nervously. 

“Sure, sure,” Nami waved him off. “But you might wanna go get your man first.”

Zoro turned around, eyes widening as he caught the little side door swinging on its hinges, Sanji noticeable absent. He cursed, nearly tripping over his own feet as he sprinted outside, ready to call after the blonde. 

Luckily the other boy hadn't gone far. In typical dramatic fashion, Sanji had sprawled himself out on the sun-crisped grass of Usopp’s lawn. 

“Oi, cook.” He called, moving to stand over him. The cook had his hands over his face, and when he spoke it came out mumbled. 

“Nope. Go away. That didn't just happen.” 

Zoro rolled his eyes, getting down to lie parallel to Sanji in the grass. He felt ridiculous, especially still wearing his pajamas, but holy shit. This was _big_. 

“So you like me?” He asked, watching the clouds move lazily. The grass was hard and prickly under his body. 

“Shut up. Can we pretend I didn't say anything? That’d be really great.” Sanji mumbled from under his hands. 

“Nope, too late.” Zoro chuckled, feeling positively giddy. “Those words are going on my gavestone.”

“Fuck you so much.” Came the muffled reply. 

Zoro leaned up on his elbows, looking over at Sanji. The skin not hidden under his hands was noticeably red, the tips of his ears a dark pink. Zoro wanted to see his face very badly. 

“I like you too, curly.” He said simply, smiling at the words. 

One blue eye peaked out at him from between pale fingers, and Zoro felt his smile widen. 

“You do?”

Zoro reached over, pulling one hand away and revealing Sanji’s surprised, flushed face. He kept the cook’s hand in his. 

“Yeah, since that fight in home ec.”

That got Sanji sitting up, leaning on his elbows as he stared at Zoro with an incredulous look. 

“What, when I _kicked_ you?”

Zoro just shrugged. “It was a good kick.”

Sanji stared at him for all of 3 seconds before bursting out in a fit of laughter. He ran a hand through his hair, his other still noticeably at ease in Zoro’s grasp. 

“You’re such an _idiot_.” The blonde said, still laughing. It sounded way too fond to be taken as an actual insult. 

“Yeah.” Zoro said, grinning kind of hopelessly over at the other boy. His own cheeks heated up at the way Sanji looked over at him, eyes crinkled softly. 

“That stuff you said in the alley, when you said I could have anyone…” Sanji murmured, his hand squeezing around the swordsmans. 

“You could.” Zoro said, just as softly. He reached up to pluck a strand of grass from out of blonde hair. “I’m just one of those anyones."

Instead of answering, Sanji sat up and leaned closer to Zoro, his gold hair tickling the swordsman’s cheek a bit as the backlight of the sun made him glow. Zoro couldn't resist reaching up with his rough, calloused hand to brush some of those wheat colored strands back, letting a fingertip brush over the delicate shell of Sanji’s ear. 

“You’re not ‘just’ anything, marimo.” Sanji murmured, eyes going so impossibly soft. And then he leaned in the rest of the way, brushing a kiss to Zoro’s lips, making him reel. It was a gentle, swift thing, as innocent as anything really, but it still knocked the breath out of the green-haired boy. 

“This is my new favorite movie.” Nami stage whispered from the door. Zoro flipped her off, even as he smiled into the kiss. 

-o-

  
  


“Hey, all deals are off.” He said, watching the way Pudding did a double take and nearly dropped her chemistry book. The hallway was crowded early in the morning and they were forced to walk closer than either wanted.

“What?” She said, looking more confused than pissed off. 

“No more photos, no more backing off, I’m done.” He clarified, grunting as a tiny kid zipped past him, clipping his side with the force of a very small train. Pudding scoffed at him. 

“Oh? Too bad for you I was planning on asking Sanji-san out on a date today.” She said, raising her chin haughtily. This time it was Zoro’s turn to scoff. 

“You’re full of it. Besides, he isn't single anymore.”

Pudding stopped in her tracks, whirling on Zoro.

“ _WHAT_!?” She shrieked, earning the attention of a good chunk of the hallway. Several students turned to give her a wide berth and a concerned look. 

“Yeah, turns out he’s bi.” It was probably pretty immature, but Zoro was enjoying the twist of rage and horror on her face. “He’s got a boyfriend now.”

“Is it Gin?” She hissed, grabbing at his wrist with frightening strength. “That lying _rat_. Listen, we can take him. All we have to do is blackmail him about the photos-

“Oh, it's not Gin.” Brushing off her hand, he turned to her fully. “And I told the cook all about the photos.”

Pudding paled instantly. 

“ _Why_!?” She cried, grabbing her head.

“Well I wasn't gonna start our relationship off with dishonestly.” 

The bell rang at the exact same time the penny dropped. 

“Don't stalk my boyfriend anymore, Pudding.” He called over his shoulder. 

“You’re a dead man, Roronoa.” Her eyes took on a crazed gleam that made him very, very glad he was in a public place. “ _Dead._ ”

“Nah,” He drawled, turning his back to her. “I’m actually pretty damn good.”

  
  


-o-

  
  


“So I found out why Pudding was giving the photos to Gin in the first place.” Nami quipped, finishing the last swipe of nail polish on Chopper’s toe. Zoro raised a brow at her, silently urging her to continue. He could hear Usopp and Sanji arguing over the ancient propane grill outside. 

“Apparently Gin’s job was to interfere with you and Sanji. Like, keep you guys from being alone together or something.”

Chopper looked between the two of them, obviously confused. Zoro just shook his head at the kid, ruffling his hair. 

“Huh.” He said, shrugging. “He didn't do a very good job.”

Chopper admired his nails for a bit, glancing up at Zoro with his huge brown eyes. 

“If Gin and Pudding wanna be Sanji’s friends, why don't they just talk to him?” He asked, head turning between the two older kids. 

Nami and Zoro shrugged together.

“Gin’s not so bad.” Zoro said. “He’s just gotta get away from pigtails.”

“Mm.” Nami hummed in agreement, screwing the little bottle tight and tossing it in her bag. 

“Hey shithead!” Sanji called, poking his head in and pointing at Zoro. “Be useful and bring out the charcoal!” 

Zoro got up, sweeping low to the floor in a sarcastic bow. 

“Sure thing, prince dumbass.” 

A spatula bounced off his head. 

“Idiot.” But there was a smile in Sanji’s voice when he said it, and Zoro straightened with a grin on his own face. 

He just stared at the blonde for a bit, watching in fascination as the blush on Sanji’s face literally bloomed the longer Zoro looked. Eventually the cook huffed and looked away, his mouth still failing to suppress a little smile.

“Take another picture why don't you, it’ll last longer.” Sanji teased, turning in the door to return to the grill. 

Zoro flushed, and behind him Nami and Chopper giggled. He grabbed the charcoal bag from the corner and dashed out, coming up behind the cook.

“I’d rather have the real thing.” He whispered, planting an obnoxiously loud kiss on Sanji’s cheek, laughing as he dodged a kick, the cook smiling right back at him.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> let me just say I DONT HATE PUDDING i know i did her dirty in this one plz forgive me! Also Zoro's phone is one of those nokias that never die but looks like a dinosaur and Sanji fucking loves the Lizzie McGuire movie


End file.
